Five go to Normandy (and then there were 4!) France on a one-way ticket?
Nope. Sometimes you think you have it all sussed. You think you know what a country is all about and feel quite the smug immigrant. Then something happens and it suddenly occurs to you that you didn’t get the memo on that one. Or the one before that, the one after and the one before that. I feel I have missed quite a few memos since my arrival here in Normandy, France. Continue reading “Dear France, Sorry I didn’t Get The Memo!”
When you speak French? That is the question. I’ll be darned if I know who the hell I am. I know for a fact that I left any shred of dignity, self respect and pride somewhere in La Manche, approximately 3 years ago, on the boat over. That fateful 10.30 pm crossing where my ability to communicate like a funny, intelligent adult drifted out to sea – coming back some time never. And there’s no one, anytime soon, throwing me a buoyancy aid. You really do have to sink or swim. Continue reading “Who Are You Even?”
And not our Salad Days as the song goes. And now, more importantly ‘Deconfinement’ that is unlock the ‘lockdown’ as it is referred to in the UK.
Prior to 2020 taking quite an unsavoury turn, the Brits had been preoccupied with arguing about Brexit for the best part of 3 years. Many a cull was made on facebook. Friends and family members deleted in utter contempt. Not just online. In real life as well. Families fell out in spectacular fashion. Only at the point of it being a more or less done deal, a stomping Boris majority, some decided to let it be. A resentful let it be, but a let it be nevertheless. This is not to be confused with acceptance. Continue reading “These Are Our Deconfinement Days”
Or confinement as the French call it. How are we all? Are we rocking back and forth yet? In a Jack Nicolson, One Flew over the Cuckoo Nest, type of manner? I love referring to this and the photo to depict my a mental state. That and Betty Blue. The other week I think I came close to acting like a deranged, fatter and older version of Betty Blue. Only one day mind. One day too many some might say. If you haven’t seen Betty Blue you must. It’s about a couple in love and the is a proper head case as opposed to an ordinary head case.
Well how we all doing?!
So yeah, I was like “we’ve got this” at the beginning of the ‘lock down’. Keep calm carry on. I’m British. My grandad was shipped out to Italy in WWII then just to reward him, upon his return, they shipped him out to Palestine for 2 years. He said it was worse in many ways as you didn’t know who your enemy was. In any event, I’m fairly tough mentally. Or am I? Who am I even?! I see it as a chance to get DIY jobs finished, get fit and get fluent. The end. Continue reading “Top Ten Lock Down Tips”
Well that’s quite a title isn’t it?! I didn’t really quite know how else to put it but I think that just about sums it up nicely. What do you think? No idea of what I am talking about? What is this you speak of? Well strap in and I shall tell you.
No one would have believed (in my best Richard Burton voice)…that when we moved here nearly 3 years ago, that we would face a situation which is, quite frankly, like no other. I certainly have not seen anything like this in my lifetime.
Unless you really do live in an absolute bubble, then it cannot have escaped your notice that the world is currently at war. Not with each other but with a virus. Coronavirus or Covid19 as the French always refer to it. Continue reading “The One Where We Are In Lock Down!”
For those of you that are my die hard Normandy Lifers you may recall a few posts whereby I have told to never assume anything. Or assume the total opposite to what you knew in your previous life. Living here can sometimes make you feel you are in a real life pantomime or in some sick game show called “Total Opposites” only there is no prize. Nope. Just costly mistakes as no one tapped you on the shoulder when you got off the boat and said “oh by the way, everything you have come to think of as normal and logical eg car breakdown, insurance, tyre tracking and anything else related to living and breathing is defunct”. “Now on your way and enjoy!”. To read more about this warped game I find myself occasionally in and yes, I did say occasionally, as folks I got wise. I’ve graduated to a bit part role in the France Panto that is my life or as I like to call it affectionately (?!) “France. The lost years” you can read about it here. Continue reading “A French v An English Car Salesperson”
The simple answer to this is yes. The more pressing question you should ask yourself is should you? I am writing this with 7 days to go before the UK exits the club of the European Union. After 40 odd years of membership and desperate to get into the club we have told them to do one. I am not a remoaner. I was a remainer. I am over it. I do not care anymore. If you are not at this stage yet, in particular if you live in France already, your aim is indifference! Continue reading “Can You Move To France Before Brexit?”
Okay as we’ve established I am not fluent in French. I’m getting there. I try really hard. Like really hard. Everyday. This photo clip from Modern Family really sums it up when Gloria screams at Jay how it feels “to have people laugh in my face because I’m struggling to find the words.” Here it’s a more screwed up face and a physical recoiling of the body simultaneously. Oh gawd. That face. The French face of “I haven’t a fucking clue what you are saying to me and in no way am I going to disguise my facial features to this fact.”
Asides from your mental sanity? A Lot! I jest of course, I jest. Everything is awesome. She says rocking from side to side gazing at the ‘wonderful view’. And isn’t that just it. You cannot live off a view. You cannot live off the land and you cannot live off a dilapidated barn that you are freezing your tits off come summer and winter. Continue reading “What Is The Cost Of Living In France?”
Our Normandy Life 